Site: National Center for PTSD

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/

The National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (NCPTSD) is sponsored by the United States Department of Veteran Affairs, but its work (as well as its website) is a good resource for all trauma survivors, not just military veterans. On the website you can find fact sheets about PTSD and its various causes as well as links to other good resources and information on how to find a mental health care provider for yourself, a family member, or a friend. 

What I think stands out about the NCPTSD's work is the PILOTS database-- Published International Literature On Traumatic Stress. The goal of the project is to index every academic work published on PTSD, no matter what language or journal it is published in. If you might benefit from reading academic studies on trauma, this is definitely a great resource.

Also, this summer I will actually be working on PILOTS with Dr. Fred Lerner and his team. Best volunteer job ever! I am thrilled to have this opportunity. :D

Dealing with Privileged People

http://www.derailingfordummies.com/

This link was shared with me by a wonderful friend of mine in response to my last post. It educates the Privileged Person on how to derail any conversation with a Marginalised Person in the most arrogant, ignorant way possible. It includes tactical gems like:

You're Taking Things Too Personally

Similar to You’re Being Overemotional and yet with particular uses of its own. You see, when you say “you’re taking things too personally” you demonstrate your ignorance that these issues ARE personal for them!

That’s highly insulting and is sure to rub anyone up the wrong way. That you're already refusing to consider their reality is giving them a pretty good indication of how the conversation is going to degress, yet the natural human need for understanding will probably compel them to try and reason with you, or at least to point you in the direction of some educational resources that will help you gain insight into their experiences.

By denying the conversation is personal for them, you also reveal your own detachment: there’s really nothing at stake for you in getting into this argument, you’re just doing it for kicks. They will be all too aware of this, and it will begin to work on their emotions, preparing them nicely for the next steps you will take them through.


You're Arguing With Opinions Not Fact

If you really want to excel as a Privileged Person® you need to learn to value data, statistics, research studies and empirical evidence above all things, but especially above Lived Experience©. You can pretend you are oblivious to the fact most studies have been carried out by Privileged People® and therefore carry inherent biases, and insist that the Marginalised Person™ produce “Evidence” of what they‘re claiming.

Their Lived Experience© does not count as evidence, for it is subjective and therefore worthless.

This is very important because it works in two ways: 1) it communicates to the Marginalised Person™ that their personal testament is disbelieved and of no value, causing them great hurt; and 2) it once again reinforces your privilege.

You see, the very capacity to conduct studies, collect data and write detached “fact-based” reports on it, is an inherently privileged activity. The ability to widely access this material and research it exhaustively is also inherently privileged. Privileged People® find it easier to pursue these avenues than Marginalised People™ and so once again you are reminding them you possess this privilege and reinforcing that the world at large values a system of analysis that excludes them, and values it over what their actual personal experience has been.

The process of valuing “fact” over “opinion” is one very much rooted in preserving privilege. Through this methodology, the continued pain and othering of millions of people can be ignored because it’s supported by “opinion” (emotion) and not “fact” (rationality).

It is also important because it calls on the Marginalised Person™ to do something that is simply impossible, and that is summate the entirety of their group’s experiences into a definitive example. It is important that you establish this precedent for the next couple of steps.

Believe it or not, people--my peers, no less--actually do use these kinds of tactics whenever I bring up topics related to sexual assault and PTSD (that is, if they even deign to listen to me in the first place).

Way to go, Privileged People!

Site: David Baldwin's Trauma Information Pages

http://www.trauma-pages.com/

I just found this site today, so I am still in the process of reading through it, but it looks fantastic. It is a well-written, informative resource about PTSD that tends towards the academic side. I think the strength of this site is the multitude of links to journal articles and scientific resources. Goodness knows that a lot of my healing and coping has come through being able to distance myself from my own experience a little bit and focus on academic treatment of sexual assault and PTSD, so this site may be helpful for a survivor looking to find validation through research or a productive distraction from his/her own trauma. Definitely worth a look.

Book: "Trust After Trauma" -- Aphrodite Matsakis

This book was recommended to me by my therapist, and I found it extremely helpful. The copy I have is full of sticky notes. It gives a clear, comprehensive, but still gentle, nonjudgmental, and empathic treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder. This is a good book for both relationship and non-relationship issues, and has many sections that would also be relevant to a secondary survivor-- i.e. a friend or loved one of a trauma survivor.

Some of the topics covered are trust, guilt, revictimization/reenactment, the physiology of trauma, and coping techniques. Each chapter also has writing exercises and questions to guide your thought and healing process.

I definitely recommend this book to survivors and anyone who loves a survivor and wants to understand and help.

Book: "Aftermath: Violence and the Remaking of a Self" -- Susan Brison

Susan Brison, a professor of philosophy at Dartmouth College, weaves an intellectually stimulating but honest and unpretentious narrative about sudden violence and trauma. Brutally attacked, raped, and left for dead while taking a walk in the French countryside, Brison speaks from the mind and heart about the pain of picking up the pieces of one's life.

I found her observations about the reactions of her friends, family, and community to be particularly poignant. She examines the oft-heard encouragement to forget and move on, and how isolating that can be for survivors of sexual violence. She also addresses issues such as deterioration of memory and concentration, change of personality, and distorted views of time and place.

This was the first memoir by a survivor that I read. While it can be a bit dense and academic sometimes, it is overall a very touching and worthwhile read from a clear and expressive author.

Site: Pandora's Aquarium

http://www.pandys.org/forums/

I owe so much to the unfailingly supportive community at Pandora's Aquarium. I would say that this is the best place to read posts if you're feeling alone or write posts if you want words of support and encouragement. The community is gigantic and infinitely loving. Feel free to use the forums as little or as much as you want; it was often just helpful for me to know it was there whenever I needed a boost.

Site: DartHeart

http://www.dartheart.org/

DartHeart, a nonprofit organization, is a peer support network for students with post traumatic stress. We provide the resources and opportunities for student survivors to unite and offer mentorship to each other and their communities about the realities of life after trauma. Our organization is run by student and alumni survivors of trauma with guidance from health care professionals and supportive members of the community.


DartHeart is a budding organization that is well on its way to being an important resource for college students. It provides what college health offices and informational resources cannot-- support and understanding from fellow survivors.

Introduction to My Resources Posts

I will also begin posting links and reviews of websites I have found informative and helpful during my healing process. I will tend to focus on personal sites more than national organization sites like RAINN.

These posts will be tagged "sa resources" (sa = sexual assault). Please feel free to comment on this post with suggestions. Thanks!

Let's talk about consent

I haven't figured out the balance between personal and educational with this blog yet-- e.g. I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to write a post called "Let's talk about PTSD" in order to explain the definition of PTSD, common misconceptions, my personal experience with it, etc. While I was thinking about that, I decided to write a post about something both personal and educational: consent.

Sounds simple, right? No. If everyone held identical conceptions of what equals consent, then rape victims wouldn't feel so lost in their search for validation. Guilt and self-blame are two of the many horrible feelings that plague rape victims. I struggled for months trying to find something that felt concrete that would tell me for sure that it was really rape; I felt so alone, thinking that my experiences "didn't really count."

Finally, one day, I found it. I was practically blubbering with joy and relief when I came across this page.

What is not consent:
If your partner has sex with you under any of the following circumstances, it is rape/sexual assault:

• Physical violence (e.g. hitting, choking)
• Threats with weapons
• Continuing sexual activity after you have indicated you wish to stop. (It doesn't matter if you initially consented; people change their minds for a number of reasons all the time. Your wishes should be respected.)
• Overpowering you with physical strength, pinning you down
• Threats to harm you or a third person
• Threats to your property/pets
• Threats to rape you if you don't give in -- that basically says "let me rape you or I'll rape you" - sex gained under such a threat is rape.
• Depriving you of liberty until you acquiesce to a sexual demand-- e.g. "you don't leave this room until I get what I want."
• Having sexual intercourse with you while you are sleeping or incapacitated by drugs/alcohol to the extent that you cannot give or withdraw consent
• Refusal to allow you to sleep until you give in to sexual demands (note: sleep deprivation is a recognized form of torture)
• Sexual activity after continuous pressure on you to have sex before you are ready, to perform acts you have stated you don't like, or just going ahead and doing it.
• Putting you in a position where you must engage in one form of sexual activity to prevent something "worse" from happening i.e. you have to engage in oral sex in order to avoid anal rape.

It is important that you realize you do not have to have physically fought or even said "no" for an act to be regarded as sexual assault. Tears or other expression of discomfort are more than reasonable indicators that you do not want the sexual activity. Often, sexually violent partners do not actually seek consent, or if you do say no, it is not taken any notice of. Remember that submission is not the same as consent.

Some of these seem obvious, but others not so much. All of the above manifestations of rape can lead to PTSD.