Thursday, November 18, 2010

Frat Update

It's funny-- the physical and emotional reactions I have to someone talking about rape or something reminding me of my own event are never as bad as the ones I have in response to my fraternity.

They have resumed talks (again, for the third time?) about changing the permanency clause, thanks to a good friend of mine. A few minutes ago, an alum sent an email to a mailing list about it. When the event happened two and a half years ago, and during the few months afterwards, I remember him being a bit of an insensitive jerk about the whole thing. When I read his email just now, my heart started pounding. I feel chilled and very tense and everything around me feels dulled down and unreal. With one email, my world has been flipped around. I haven't had physical symptoms this bad for a long time.

We'll see how this discussion thread goes. I guess my body is just gearing up for an emotionally upsetting and tumultuous fight. I don't know why I still care about this issue, but the fact of the matter is that I do, despite my best efforts to change that.

I'll try to still study for my organic chemistry exam, even though I feel like this. At least tomorrow I get to see D*, and we're going to try to go dancing as part of our therapy assignment. (More on that later.)


  1. *hugs* I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, although I certainly understand why!

  2. Sayrina, you're a recent grad, but still taking exams? That confused me a little.

    Where can I read about what happened two and a half years ago? Sounds like you experienced a great deal of trauma, and that you may be reliving it now.

  3. Hi GeorgiaGirl,

    I recently got my BA but I am in a post-baccalaureate program to take required courses for veterinary school. :)

    I have some posts about what happened under the label "my story." I'm not sure how much each goes into detail about the actual event-- they mostly focus on the aftermath-- but there is some there. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask me as well, of course.